So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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