I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
