It's Friday. Sex?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
