...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
