She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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