I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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