out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
