just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
