He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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