all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
