I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
