it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
