Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
