i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
