Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
