Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
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