She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
