i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
