living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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