Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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