I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
