Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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