we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
