She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
