i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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