Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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