He is like the real live version of the state fair..
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
