I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
