I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
He's on the porch naked. Help.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
