It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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