So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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