he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
