i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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