I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
