My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I will be naked everywhere
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Randomize
