: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
