Do you still have your period?
Tell her she can't have a vagina
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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