Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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