Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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