she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
