Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
