I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
