Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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