Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
