Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
handjob tips. give me some.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
