Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
