I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
do nipples grow back?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
