Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
