1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
He uses pillows to masturbate.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
