i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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