i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
