You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
