do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
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