Ambien. No doubt about it.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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