I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Randomize
