She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Randomize
