I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
