Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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